meet the family
by cedricsowner
Summary: My take on what might have happened the evening before Ames' wedding. One-shot.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Human Target and intend no copyright infringement.**

"So, Ames' future mother-in-law insisted on dinner alone with her on the day before her wedding? Just when you think you know every torture method there is…"

Chance chuckled. "Leaves us with a free evening in Vegas. Any suggestions?"

"I thought I'd invite you two gentlemen to dinner. Have you ever been to the Mix at Mandalay Bay?" Ilsa pushed the door to Chance's hotel room open completely and walked in. She was wearing one of her formal skirt business suits. Both men couldn't help but follow the long line of her slender legs.

Unlike Chance, however, Guerrero let his eyes linger on her appearance so she was bound to notice. "I've got a better idea, boss…", he grinned.

"And that would be, Mr. Guerrero?", Ilsa asked, not yet alarmed but wary.

Chance tilted his head and waited. He could see that his friend was devising some kind of mischievous plan, just for the heck of it.

"Do you trust me?", Guerrero replied, eyebrows raised.

Uh. Loaded question with possibly hazardous consequences.

Guerrero's grin grew, knowing he had just placed her in a tricky dilemma. There was no way she could say "no", not if she didn't want to risk a long-lasting disturbance of the all-important work climate. It was worse enough that Ames hadn't invited Winston… On the other hand, she knew Guerrero well enough by now to tread very carefully here.

The fact that Chance seemed to be enjoying the hell out of this didn't bode well either.

"Of course I do, Mr. Guerrero", Ilsa replied after a long moment of silence and hectic weighing of pros and cons, slightly flustered tremble in her voice. Chance had no idea what Guerrero was planning, but this was going to be fun.

"Then borrow me your credit card for half an hour, will you?"

… … …

Ilsa moved through the hotel bar like a unicorn in a dark wood – an enthralling beauty among mortals. Of course she was overdressed, but who cared? The men in the bar surely not. The shimmering white one shoulder full length dress with the long side slit fit her perfectly.

"You saw that dress in the shop window in the entrance hall, didn't you? Did you hatch the whole plot just to put Ilsa in it?" Chance couldn't take his eyes off her as she gracefully took a seat at the bar next to a tall dark-haired man in his early thirties.

Guerrero didn't reply, but what he thought was "_I saw _you_ seeing that dress in the shop window in the entrance hall, dude…" _

A lot more nervous than she wished Chance or Guerrero to know, Ilsa turned to the dark-haired man next her. "Handsome man like you, alone at a bar? What a prodigality and what an abundance of possibilities… Would you like to buy me a drink?"

Oh boy, _how long_ hadn't she flirted with anyone? Ilsa felt like a total idiot.

"I'm sorry, you're a beautiful lady and surely deserve a gentleman to comply with your every wish, but I can't be that one. I'm getting married tomorrow and my wife-to-be will be the only one I serve."

Wow, what an elaborate answer. But Ames had said he was very eloquent.

"She must be very special, to wake such a courtly attitude in a man of the 21st century…" Ilsa studied Alejandro's face carefully. Was he just smooth or really truthful?

"She's a gift of god", he replied, eyes gleaming.

"Correct answer, dude", Guerrero told him as he and Chance moved in and settled down next to him.

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" Now Alejandro was a little nervous.

"We're Ames' colleagues", Chance explained.

"Oh, yes, yes, she's already told me so much about you…"

Guerrero cut him off. "To make it short, Alejandro, you've just passed the first test. Congrats, dude. But know that from now on forever you'll be watched closely. You break her heart, we break your neck."

"And to make sure you really understood: "Le quebras el corazon, te rompemos el cuello", Chance added.

Alejandro swallowed visibly.

"He can say that in at least five different languages", Guerrero told Alejandro.

"And _he _can _do_ that in at least five different styles", Chance nodded towards Guerrero.

Alejandro turned a bit green. Chance patted his back in a seemingly reassuring gesture, but with just enough force to give him an idea of who he was dealing with.

"And who are you?", he asked Ilsa.

"I'm the one whose lawyers can make a potential divorce very expensive." She paused. "Should a divorce still be necessary, after those two are finished with you… I could also pay for an impressive funeral, I'm sure Ames would like that."

Chance and Guerrero made no attempt to hide their broad grins. Ilsa could be hilarious when she let her evil side take over.

"Well", Alejandro uttered after a rather lengthy pause. "It's great finally meeting all of you in person."

He sounded quite shaken.

_Good. _

**_A/N: Big thank you to Dreaming Sio who helped with the Spanish sentence. If you're wondering about the "hazardous consequences" that I'm mentioning - when I wrote this story I had tree979's marvellous M-rated fic "The Challenge" in the back of my mind. It's not for the faint-hearted, but if you like it a little rough, you should definitely go and check it out, it's a great piece of work. _**


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